Slice Girls

Lady Latte Pain, #14oz – Photo by Alex Briseno

Sugar, Spice, and Everything… SLICE. Last June, the Sun City Roller Girls sold out the Judging Arena for their double-header bout. This month, the women of SCRG set up their full sized banked track in the El Paso County Coliseum for another four teams to battle it out on “La Llorona.”

The clouds and rainy weather didn’t stop the fans from cheering on their favorite roller girls for a 90’s throwback themed SLICE GIRLS bout. Referee, Kiko Jones, was instantly recognized as Scary Spice from the poster and boo-ed as emcee when Sarcasm ScarGasm announced his name. (Not really, just FYI that’s him on the poster. “Hi Scary Spice!”).

The first of two bouts was Las Catrinas vs. Las Viudas Negras. Both teams are stacked with quite a few all-in-one skater skill sets. Veteran skaters like Kitty Killmore, Rainbow Ninja, and DeeDee Dynamite were constantly on the track ready to pivot, block, or jam at any moment.

The Viudas quickly took the lead, but the Catrinas had a solid defense keeping the game interesting. Lyfsa Peach, of the Viudas, took the brute force of a Catrina wall in the second jam getting knocked out of bounds hit after hit grasping for a final few points. Both teams were playing with the championship in mind and felt the heat.

Kitty Killmore, an advocate of strategy use during games, blasted through four blockers and called the jam before the Viudas could lap for another few points. Blocking powerhouses Skatey Perry and Nitro Jen had clean hits and kept the packs slow for their jammers to use their speed and endurance to rack up the points. Up next was Rose Ty-her, squeezing right past blockers on the inside for a few points when up against DeeDee Dynamite. However, the Viuda wall caught her and let DeeDee swim past the Catrinas as she lapped the track three times.

Since each bout is a half game, playing clean is crucial. Penalty points can accumulate much faster. Up to 6 minors will equal 2 major penalties and can get you ejected from play, referee Hurtcules explained.

Ravenclaw-Her, of Las Catrinas, whose fearless style and athletic speed dished out maybe a little too much spice for this game was ejected. As was Kitty Killmore, changing the final few jams for the Viudas and Catrinas. The Viudas won the bout scoring 54 points to 36. After the game concludes, a sweet gesture of a derby ritual takes place and BAMbi SLAMbi renews her derby vows with MAULeficent.

During halftime, Viva Las Vegas, provides the entertainment music while fans steal away to grab a refill or some nachos. Some of the SeXecutioners elaborated on what to expect for their next game against Las Diablas. Mazzy Scar and She Lay Picosa elaborated on the intensity of short games even though their opposing team was playing short on skaters. “We’ve played short before, it’s a tough game. In the end it’s about having fun, but we still gotta do what we gotta do.”

The SeXecutioners take the lead off the first jam. Some of the best moves and most unexpected jams of the evening took place in the second half of the double-header event. The pace of the final game is much quicker than the previous, and the points and penalties accumulate enough to bring out the penalty wheel early. The wheel includes a pushcart relay race, tug of war, as well as, hula hooping. All of these events taking place on 4 wheels. She Lay Picosa, of the Sexecutioners, took on Las Diabla’s newer draft Robby Osa, for the challenge. Picosa, a veteran of the league, as well as, a member of SCRG’s travel team, is no stranger to tug of war and takes the win to earn the extra point for her team.

The Diablas, with only seven skaters, used their endurance and the advantage of having tiny, fierce jammers like Battle Angel and PAINapple. Co-Captain, Disco Brawl, got thrown in to jam near the end of the game to also give the SeXecutioners a run for their money.

Many of the travel team players push their teammates to keep slower tighter packs, and pivots slow down jammers, like Trixie Polverizer, by backwards blocking. A highlight of the evening was watching another SeXecutioner and travel team skater, Lily MuncHer, launch and fly over a group of Diablas. In the end the SeXecutioners take the win with 112 points and the Diablas push 43 points.

Join SCRG for next month’s bout! Check with your favorite roller girls for events at The Pershing Inn, and as always support your local roller derby.

Thanks a “latte” for reading!

-Lady Latte Pain #14oz

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